Bye Bye Baby

My weekdays are often predictable. Often monotonous.

I'll do the morning school run, dropping Lily off to school and then taking Ollie down to nursery. I'll come home and I'll do the housework, or some of my virtual assistance projects. I'll go back to school at midday to get Ollie and walk home with him again. We'll have lunch and spend the time together before we head back to school once more to collect Lily.

But all that is changing.

Ollie is starting school.

Our afternoons together are numbered.

Of course I'm excited for this next great milestone in his life, but bloody hell, I'm really going to miss him.

I'm going to miss our snuggles on the sofa, watching Paw Patrol or Rescuebots. I'll miss our lunch dates and our play dates. I'll miss the learning activities we do when I can concentrate on just him.

I'm even going to miss telling him to give me five minutes to drink my tea, or use the loo.

I have such mixed feelings. He's growing so much, so fast. He wants to learn and is great at maths already. He is keen to learn to read and write, enjoys playing games on the PC and relishes the opportunity to join in with the bigger children in the playground.

But in my heart, he's still my baby.

I waved Lily off to school two years ago and although it was hard I knew without a doubt that she was ready. Ollie was still so tiny, he was the baby and she was my big girl. I still cried but I like to think that I dealt with the transition to school parent quite well.

I fear this time it will be different.

In July, Ollie will leave the nursery and in September will move just up the path, past the playground and into the Reception class.

He'll be experiencing new things. New things without me.

I know that he'll be OK. He already knows the school site and most of the staff. They've either helped out in his nursery class or he remembers them from when I'd work in the office and he'd come to work with me some days.

He already has firm friends that will be making the transition from nursery with him.

He's confident. He knows his own mind. He adjusts to changes quickly.

But it's hard not to be emotional when I think of how much he has grown. From that tiny baby, content just to feed, cuddle and sleep to a cute and outgoing schoolboy.

He has a crazy side to match his sister. And an ongoing love of anything related to the emergency services. He's determined to drive transporters when he is 'grown up' and has more car toys than anything else. Closely followed by dinosaurs.

He has an adorable side which balances out his stubborn and mischievous attitude (most of the time) and often says the cutest things. He's the best little brother to Lily that anyone could hope for. He'll give her the last of his sweets and was so excited to share a room that when the bunk beds were built he asked to go to bed two hours early than normal!

It doesn't help that he is still little, barely wearing size 3-4 clothes. His struggles with pronouncing his 's' and 'f' sounds which makes him sound a little baby-ish and he's less outgoing than I remember Lily being at that age. You're not meant to compare, I know every child is different, but still...

And how does Ollie feel about going to school? He doesn't say much but does seem to be excited. If anything, I suspect he is more ready for the changes ahead than I am.

The last few weeks have been a crazy busy roller-coaster of activities and emotions and I'm only just beginning to settle. He's had the nursery Sports Day and his school induction afternoon (which he loved and only cried when we had to leave), a great report and our first family holiday abroad. These times have been so precious, I treasure them and they give me hope - I have so many more first of Ollie's to see and that is as exciting as it is emotional.

It's going to be a strange summer holiday, getting everything ready, buying school uniform and preparing myself for the change.

I would say that Ollie needs preparing too but really, I know he'll just get on with it, he always does. A change in nursery, a change in routine and he bounces back. This is just the next big challenge for him to overcome.

I guess I just need to overcome it too!

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