How (not) to write the perfect blog post

So today, I am alone! It's the Easter hols so I'm not at work like I usually am on a Friday but the kids are at nursery because I wanted a lie in didn't want to disrupt their routine. The house is quiet, or would be if I wasn't playing music, but it's peaceful. The washing is on, it's reasonably tidy. Now, time for blogging...

Or so you would think. Here is my tale of writing the elusive 'perfect' blog post.

Step one - have an idea.

Chuckle, think to yourself what a funny blog post that would make.

Excitedly tell your husband your idea. He doesn't get it.

Explain it to your husband, who still doesn't get it.

Wonder if this is actually funny at all.

Attempt to justify pitch to husband. Describe piece in detail, including how you would illustrate said genius blog post.

Give up, say goodbye to husband who goes to work and settle in to enjoy writing (typing) in peace.

Type your blog heading.

Try to fathom how your husband couldn't laugh out loud at your, quite frankly, hilarious idea.

Type a few lines. Get stuck with what to say.

Grab a cup of tea.

Whilst tea is brewing, narrate the blog post in your head. Sounds good, doesn't it?

Sit down to type. Promptly forget that brilliantly witty first line you'd just thought of.

Come up with a decent-enough-but-not-quite-as-good-as-the-first opening line.

Answer the phone, calmly tell the caller that you have already claimed PPI.

Lose track of what you were trying to say.

Take a sip of lukewarm tea. Wonder if there are any biscuits in the house? Maybe you should make a cake later? Chocolate would be nice... or maybe coffee...

Type for a while, then realise that the post you're writing bears no resemblance to your original idea.

Then realise that what you have written is, honestly, a bit shit.

Answer the phone. Explain to the caller that you have never been in a car accident. You're sure. Yep, definitely sure, you don't even drive.

Sit back down. Swig cold tea and start hitting the backspace button.

Decide that the whole piece is crap and delete the lot.

Spend five minutes staring at the blog title.

Attempt to remember why you wanted to write this. Was it funny?

Conclude that it wasn't even an interesting idea in the first place.

Utter four-letter swearword of choice.

Go to the freezer, grab tub of Ben and Jerrys.

Grab a spoon, blanket, book and remote.

Stick Once upon a Time on Netflix.

Eat ice cream.

Read book.

Fall asleep.

Job done.

jeremy@thirstydaddy said...

There's nothing worse than having a great line and then forgetting it. I've got notes scribbled from one end of the house to the other that make no sense when I go back and look at them

Wendy said...

Hahaaha love this, it perfectly describes my life. Always coming up with what I think are amazing blog ideas to just forget everything when I sit down at the laptop. Ahh well, when you have Netflix and ice cream who needs blogging really..xx #thelist

Cheryl said...

Hah Hah! Very amusing. I can relate to this. Particularly about making tea and letting it get cold whilst trying to remember what I was doing! #TheList x

Right Royal Mother said...

Aargh, you have just described my experiences (usually) in detail PERFECTLY. Phew, so glad I'm not the only one. Good luck with the next husband explanation - mine are a proper struggle!! xx

Squirmy Popple said...

Sounds like my blog-writing process - right down to the Ben & Jerry's! #justanotherlinky

Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I have several in my draft folder that at the time I thought were gold but once I started writing it all sort of fell apart. Still keep them to cherry pick the good bits though!

Something Crunchy Mummy said...

Haha this made me chuckle as this has happened to me on many occasions. When I can write I just can't (if that makes sense) Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

Spectrum Mum said...

Yes I do this all the time especially have an idea whilst making a cuppa only to promptly forget it.

You Baby Me Mummy said...

Ha ha! I am always forgetting my flashes of inspiration! Fab post! Thanks for linking up to #TheList x

Our Cherry Tree © . Design by Berenica Designs.