A more positive outlook!

I'd happily write off the majority of this last week. To put it mildly, it's been crap. The 'Shitty Guilt Fairy' has been hanging over my shoulder, commenting on each parenting mistake I've made - from questioning how much tech my daughter should use to feeling awful for working when my son was ill, she even giggled hysterically after Ollie's nappy leaked out of the sides and I ended up with poop on my leg.

Then, on Thursday evening the vindictive little fairy had her most gleeful moment when my son was admitted to hospital with a huge fever and racing heart rate.

And where was I?

At home with Lily. Because someone had to stay with her and my husband is the only one who can drive.

In my defense, if I'd known that Ollie would end up in hospital after seeing the out of hours GP I would have asked a friend to watch Lily, but as events unfolded so quickly I found myself sat at home on the sofa balling my eyes out whilst Matt texted me updates from the paediatric ward.

Then his phone ran out of battery and I ended up calling the hospital myself just to find out what was happening!

It is so easy after an awful week to feel like everything is rubbish. It's easy to want to forget everything and crawl under the covers and hide. My only escape this week has been to immerse myself in London streets and murderous intrigue as I re-read some Robert Galbraith.

But it isn't all bad.

- First, Ollie was given some medication and was looked after by the lovely doctors and nurses at Stoke Mandeville. They observed him for a bit and he was discharged in the small hours to come home. He hasn't been great since but it's obvious he's on the mend and for that I am eternally grateful.

- Yesterday, with Ollie feeling brighter we headed down to Ashford to see some family and meet the newest member of the family, Baby Joel Davies. It was such lovely, relaxed afternoon and Lily had so much fun playing with her cousin Ruby that she didn't want to leave.

- I am so grateful for my friends. The ones I speak to every day and the ones I don't properly chat with for years! Matt shared on Facebook that he was at the hospital with Ollie and the amount of well wishes, inquiries and messages of support meant that I knew people were there for all of us. It's funny that just a simple little comment on a photo can actually mean so much to someone.

- I may make mistakes, I may have a guilty little voice sitting on my shoulder, telling me all the ways that I'm going wrong, but I love my husband, I love my kids and I love my family. On a daily basis I'd like to think that I usually get more right than wrong. And, perhaps more importantly, when I do mess-up, I know it and I am sorry.

Tomorrow marks the start of a new week. The last full week before the end of term (eek). It is a week full of opportunities and potential and I am determined that no matter how awful last week was at times, it will not stop me from approaching next week with positivity and optimism!

Who's with me?
Rhyming with Wine
Spectrum Mum said...

So sorry to read about your little boy, what a scary moment for you! I am glad he is feeling better. I am trying to let go of that mummy guilt and accept my imperfections. You are right, even in the worse weeks there are always things to be grateful for!

Babies, biscuits and booze said...

Oh that must have been so scary about your little boy!! So glad he is on the mend. Your new little nephew is gorgeous!!! I love your positivity and I think its important to try to let go of the guilt, though it's not always easy. #fartglitter

Unknown said...

Ugh, how horrid and scary. What a relief that he's doing better. Sometimes we need force ourselves into being positive and happy. I hopenextweek makes that a little easier for you.


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