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I know it's been quiet here on the blog lately. I've been even quieter on social media, my online life contrasting against a crazy-busy couple of weeks in the real world.

You see, after 10 months of being a stay-at-home Mum, this afternoon I rejoin the work force!

It's all come around so quickly I've barely had time the situation to settle in.

I saw a job that sounded perfect. A school time job. At Lily's school. Part-time hours. Reasonable salary. A job description that summarised all of my skills perfectly.

I applied. I had an interview. I was offered the job that day.

So far so good.

But then, as always, the true struggle was in finding and organising childcare.

What do  I do with Ollie?

Where can he go where he will be cared for a nurtured?

I considered everything. Friends, nannies, child minders, au pairs (could they live in the shed?), pre-schools and nurseries.

And every time I thought I may have a solution, something came up and threw it all out of the window.

I won't lie. I have been a mess. I don't like change at the best of times and any uncertainty is guaranteed to send my PND and anxiety into overdrive.

One of my lovely, best friends, described me as a swan swimming upstream- calm on the surface but working furiously below the waterline.

Hahaha. I definitely was not a swan. There was nothing serene about my outward persona as I worried, stressed and cried my way through the majority of half-term, frantically trying to work something out so I could start this week.

You see, I'd got my hopes up about starting a job. I was excited about the possibilities ahead of me.

And I was dreading having to turn it down because I couldn't work out how to get Ollie to a nursery on the other side of town - the only one that we liked that could take him. The very same one I cried when he left earlier this year.

And then there was the nursery paperwork, starting work paperwork, budgeting spreadsheets, childcare voucher applications and references to organise.

On top of any usual wife and mother duties.

And entertaining during half-term.

Someone pour me a huge glass of wine. I seriously need it. And cake. Lots of cake.

It's taking an awful lot of logistical planning, money, effort and a new car to get the plan off the ground and today we'll finally get to see if it works out OK.

Matt picks Ollie up about 11:45. I start work at 12.

Wish me luck.

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