Work and Worry

I've found myself getting increasingly stressed over the last few months.

The cause? My work.


Like the majority of people, it isn't the first time working has caused me stress, given me nightmares, exacerbated my anxiety. I have often found that my work is closely linked to me mental health and well being.

Looking over my blog posts from last year you wouldn't think that for half of it I was feeling depressed and even, at times, suicidal.

My Geek Gift List

Can you remember a time before you could buy nearly anything you wanted at a click of a button?

As a teen and a lover of all things Lord of the Rings I would sit in an internet cafe searching the world wide web for anything to fuel my passion. There wasn't much. I don't think I'd even heard of eBay at that point (I am only 32 by the way but the internet was still new enough to be featured on 'Tomorrow's World')...


Godstone Farm

One of the things I love most as a parent is sharing the things I love, or loved as a child, with my own kids. growing up in the South London area, both Matt and I visited Godstone Farm as children for school and family trips and have lots of happy memories there.

So when we were invited to visit on Father's Day we were both really excited to take Lily and Ollie. It's no surprise that we love visiting a farm, I'm yet to meet a child who doesn't get excited about meeting the animals - my kids love it!


A lot has changed at Godstone Farm over the years. As a kid, I remembered all the animals and Matt has fond memories of playing on the ride on tractors - but now there are even more activities to take part in and keep the kids busy all day long. As an adult, I find I'm just as appreciative of good toilet facilities, a decent cup of tea and some good quality food in the tearoom as I was of all the fun stuff I enjoyed when I was much younger.

My second biggest fear

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I have many, many fears.

I worry constantly about losing Matt or my kids.

But the next biggest fear is losing someone else I know to suicide. The fear that I could recognise someone who is in the same situation that my Dad was in and fail to help them. Fail to save them.


Where I'm coming from...

Young Love

After a random conversation with a friend about my previous boyfriends it occurred to me that as a list, a collective, they can be summarised like a list of Friends episodes.

The first love. The one who lied about everything. The one with seriously bad hygiene.

It's a short list. I haven't had many boyfriends. But I apparently kissed a lot of frogs before I found and married Matt.

Pretty standard.


Like most teens I had a long list of crushes and the odd stolen kiss. There was the boyfriend who cheated on me with my step-sister and the one guy I fancied throughout secondary school but never told anyone about and then there are loads of boys who held my attention for periods of time, the Disney-inspired dreams of an adolescent female desperate to find someone to love her and hold her hand.