Hearing myself parent

If you've read a few of my posts you may notice that I regularly over-analyse things and often feel the sharp pangs of Mum-guilt. I (obviously) want to be a great Mum but am well-aware of my failings and the times I fall short.

Like the times I shout at my kids to be quiet (I know it's hypocritical. I know it's counter-productive. But argh! Just be quiet!).

I know that my kids are doing well, despite my lack of confidence I think I 'usually' do OK at this Mummyhood thing. And yet, it is still disconcerting to hear myself parroted back through the pretend play and mannerisms of my children.

As they both get older I hear more and more of myself in them. The things they say. The things they do. It is more apparent in Lily, but I'm not sure if that is because she is older and so it's easier to recognise the little quirks that we share.

Like socks, I have worn my socks inside out since the age of about 5 because I can't stand the sensation of the seam rubbing against the tips of my toes. It makes my skin crawl. I know it's weird and I do try to find socks that have small seams so I can try them out the 'right' way but I just can't stand it. Despite this, I always put the kids socks on the way that normal people do. It hasn't stopped Lily from being very particular about her socks and feet. She doesn't like anything rubbing, she doesn't like big seams and she doesn't like a sock or shoe being a teeny bit tight. Whenever she's struggling with it I think back to how hard it was to make anyone understand what I was trying to say when I was younger and reach for my inner patience (it is there somewhere) and so we manage to get by.

It's slightly more worrying that I suspect Ollie's latest habit of growling in frustration comes from me... #ohbugger

But most disconcerting is listening to them both play 'Mums and Dads' or any other pretend play which involves mimicking adults, usually me.

"You are in time out because you hit, and kicked and bited your brother. Stay here for 100 minutes."

"She has a big attitude. For 20 days. She's being very naughty. I am exhausted."

"Oh dorling! Don't worry, Mum's here dorling, my sweet!"

"Oh dear, are you tired? Let me get you a nice cup of tea"

"There there, let me tuck you in nice and tight. I'll get you a cuddly. We'll take your temperature and give you some medicine. Go to sleep now. I'll be right in here if you need me, I love you."

"Aww Ollie, are you a doctor looking after Lily?"
"No! I'm Daddy! Lily going to bed, I've got my phone!"

"Mummy, if I don't go to school I'd be stuck here with you!"

"Children! Please stop shouting! I just want to drink my tea! Please!"

"I'm stuck with the baby because the Mum is on a girly day and the Daddy is at work."

"Ollie it's OK, you can be a princess. You can be anything you want to be!"

(pretending to talk on the phone)
"Yep, yeah, blah blah blah. I need to go. Bye!"
(hangs up)
"My husband is so annoying."

Is this what I sound like on a daily basis?!

Do I really go round calling everyone 'dorling'?!

I'm *pretty* sure I don't say 'blah blah blah' to Matt when we talk on the phone!

I'm sure there's a quote about being the person you want your children to mimic but the truth is, it's bloody hard trying to be a perfect role model all the damn time. Even if you are good enough 99% of the time, it'll always be that teeny 1% parenting fail that your kids remember and decide to portray in front of all their friends at toddler group.
libchris said...

Like it :-) Like my eldest saying "boddy ding" when something wasn't going right; or my youngest responding when I said I would say "oh dearie me" if she dropped my keys down the drain saying " no, you wouldn't, you would say ..." (which was a very accurate guess!)

Our Cherry Tree said...

Hahaha! brilliant! They know us better than we know ourselves! x

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