The most disgusting things I've done as a Mum

Today, I stepped out of the shower, grabbed the first towel I saw and used it to dry my face.


What's that smell?

A few more sniffs of the towel reveal all.

OMG. I just wiped my face with a dirty towel.

A dirty towel with my son's wee on it.
After freaking out a bit, re-washing my face (twice) with the strongest soap I could find and throwing the offending item in the wash it took me a while to calm down.

Let's face it, I've done a lot of really disgusting things as a Mum. From the moment I bared my bits for various consultants, midwives and the nice lady who helped clean up all the blood (I still remember you Rose) it seems that things have just got more and more gross.

And so, in an attempt to make me feel better, let's play a game. We could even make it more exciting by adding in cake, chocolate or alcohol.

If you've ever done any of the following, down a shot and let me know.

1. Cleaned your child's vomit off your face
2. Cleaned your child's poop from your hair
3. Wiped a snotty nose with your bare hand
4. Wiped a snotty nose with a piece of clothing you're wearing
5. Cleaned poop off your pillow
6. Eaten partially consumed/regurgitated food just because it's been handed to you
7. Sucked snot from a nose using one of those syringe things
8. Caught vomit in your hand
9. Put your finger in the wrong place when inspecting a suspected dirty nappy
10. Picked your child's nose
11. 'Cleaned' a dropped dummy in your own mouth
12. Shared a drink (and backwash)
13. Rescued an item by fishing it out of the loo with your hands
14. Carried a really smelly nappy around in your bag
15. Realised you just wiped your face with stale wee

Go on, be honest. I've done all of these at least once. Yep, it makes me feel pretty sick and it's too early in the day to drown my sorrows with prosecco.

Cake anyone?
3 Little Buttons
Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Too many poo/snot/vomit stories here too! When did it become so normal!? #DreamTeam pam at

Unknown said...

Haha this is brilliant! Gee recently I had to wipe fresh vom out of Emma's hair, which was definitely a low point of the month. Thanks for linking up to #dreamteam x

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